May 2011
The Way of GIN-JIT-SU
14/05/11 16:36
I would like to tell you a story of how ginjitsu was first developed in China. How it was handed down by generations of juniper masters from father to son. How a famous variation Zui Quan, was featured in the famous Jackie Chan movie, ‘Drunken Master’ and how I learned it from a reclusive black bottle sensei in the foothills of the Himalayas after a long mystical journey.
I’d like to tell you that story, but if I did… I would, unfortunately, be lying.
Ginjitsu was principally developed after a series of bar room brawls that I seemed to get unwittingly drawn into. Through no fault of my own, I’d end up fighting and then at some point losing my gin and tonic.
This, as you can rightly understand, was entirely unacceptable.
Eventually I developed a unique fighting style that had several advantages:
Further development of the martial art came when I started carrying bottles of gin with me – this meant I could not only drink continuously without interruption, but it also allowed for a number of additional elements to be added to the form of ginjitsu – such as:
Finally, adding a simple length of silk rope to the top of the gin bottle creates a useful mid-range weapon, which allows the ginjitsu proponent a more attacking style whilst imbibing.
Only two other people have knowledge of this most deadly of martial arts - the Brig - whose talent for it almost equals my own, and Miss Ladybird - who knows a few of the more refined movements, and uses them to good effect.
Of course, whatever the variation or form, the basics of ginjitsu must always be adhered to – the correct application of just the right amount of force to divert your opponents strike without breaking the gin bottle, using your opponents momentum against him/her, and most fundamentally: NO SPILLAGE!
I leave you with these words: “When you fight – let your opponent pass by you like gin flowing sweetly down your throat – when you hit his stomach – the gin should hit yours – and both of you will feel it in the morning.”
I’d like to tell you that story, but if I did… I would, unfortunately, be lying.
Ginjitsu was principally developed after a series of bar room brawls that I seemed to get unwittingly drawn into. Through no fault of my own, I’d end up fighting and then at some point losing my gin and tonic.
This, as you can rightly understand, was entirely unacceptable.
Eventually I developed a unique fighting style that had several advantages:
- it was highly effective,
- required little actual effort,
- made me look good,
- and most importantly, let me keep my gin and tonic intact.
Further development of the martial art came when I started carrying bottles of gin with me – this meant I could not only drink continuously without interruption, but it also allowed for a number of additional elements to be added to the form of ginjitsu – such as:
- the ‘flat ear’ strike,
- the ‘bottle to balls’ swing,
- and of course, the now famous; ‘here hold this for me’ diversionary disarming technique.
Finally, adding a simple length of silk rope to the top of the gin bottle creates a useful mid-range weapon, which allows the ginjitsu proponent a more attacking style whilst imbibing.
Only two other people have knowledge of this most deadly of martial arts - the Brig - whose talent for it almost equals my own, and Miss Ladybird - who knows a few of the more refined movements, and uses them to good effect.
Of course, whatever the variation or form, the basics of ginjitsu must always be adhered to – the correct application of just the right amount of force to divert your opponents strike without breaking the gin bottle, using your opponents momentum against him/her, and most fundamentally: NO SPILLAGE!
I leave you with these words: “When you fight – let your opponent pass by you like gin flowing sweetly down your throat – when you hit his stomach – the gin should hit yours – and both of you will feel it in the morning.”
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